World Dream Team

In 2008 and 2010, the USA men's basketball team returned to prominence by winning a gold medal in Beijing and the World Championship in Turkey. But recent American teams haven't been nearly as dominant as the 1992 or 1994 Dream Teams. In 1992, the U.S. won each game by an average of 43.8 points (Croatia came the closest, only losing by 32 points). During those eight games, the NBA players shot 58% from the floor and Michael Jordan had 37 steals. Dream Team II, led by Shaquille O'Neal, Reggie Miller, and Dominique Wilkins, beat their opponents by an average of 37.7 points. In the 1994 gold medal game, the Americans crushed the Russians 137-91, the second most points scored by a U.S. team in international play.

The magnificence of the first two Dream Teams will never be matched, that's for sure. Well, at least not in the Olympic Games. But I can imagine a far greater force, a group that would command more respect than NBA players, and would have the power to alter history more significantly. "Impossible," you say, "what could be better than Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and Larry Bird playing together as a team on the hardwood?" If you guessed a reunion of the original members of Cream, you're wrong. Trust me on this one.

What I propose is a World Leader Dream Team, made up of historical figures of unquestionable strength and resolve. Together, I believe they would destroy anyone who tried to oppose them, impose their will upon both their supporters and retractors, and possibly start a few revolutions along the way. Maybe they'd even get around to poverty and world peace. It was hard to leave Mussolini off this roster, but he just doesn't work well in a group. Here are your starters for the World Leader Dream Team, by position:

Point Guard: Nelson Mandela

He spent over 25 years in a South African prison for his political beliefs, and when he was released, he helped end apartheid and establish multi-racial democracy. Mandela also got married for the third time on his 80th birthday, so you know this guy will never stop hustling on the court. Good at setting screens and directing his teammates.

Guard: Simon Bolivar

This talented Venezuelan military leader was one of the main reasons Colombia, Peru, Panama, Ecuador and much of South America gain independence from Spain. Oh yeah, and in 1825, people named a country after him. Expert defender and liberator of basketballs.

Small Forward: Catherine The Great

Not just anyone can extend serfdom to parts of Ukraine. During her 34-year reign, she went to war with the Ottoman Empire and expanded Russia's control of the Baltics and the Middle East. She even encouraged exploration of Alaska. Very useful post player.

Power Forward: Henry V

I never read the Shakespeare play. It probably wasn't as tragic as Othello. This battle-tested veteran, however, did lead a successful attack on Normandy and many parts of France. Henry V is most famous for the Battle of Agincourt (1415), where his outnumbered, exhausted army routed the French, thanks to the English longbow. So be careful when he steps out to the perimeter. With his deadly three point accuracy, he can shred a weak zone defense.

Center: Ghengis Khan

Today, you see his face on Mongolian banknotes and Kazakhstan coins, and you probably think of him as a conquering invader of China and Central Asia. But he was a uniter, not a divider. Khan made of confederation of all the tribes on the Mongol steppes...and then he went about taking all the territory that spanned the Silk Road, from the Black Sea to the Pacific Ocean. Good luck trying to stop him in the paint.

Reserves: Chiang Kai-shek, Joan of Arc, Andrew Jackson, Ramses II, Prince Henry the Navigator, Benazir Bhutto