Rise Of The Rodents

I can't believe I'm dedicating an entire post to my name change in a March Madness pool.

But here I am.
I'm doing it in the interest of ...my self interests.

Plus it's good practice for evaluating contending teams and how they match up against each other. You can't play favorites when you're making bracket picks. Regardless of who you like, you need to understand who has the tools and the motivation to succeed in a high-pressure environment.

A week ago, my team name (this year's theme is mammals) was The Mighty Platypi. I was too hasty to pick a mammal with a duck bill, given my affinity for the University of Oregon. A few days later, I chose the Nonsensical Nutria. Let's take a look at the comparison of these animals.

Platypus
Species: Ornithorhynchus anatinus
Diet: Carnivore (insects, larvae, shellfish, worms)
Size: 3 lbs.
Lifespan: 12 years
Threats: snakes, goannas, rats, foxes, man
Pros: A platypus navigates exceptionally well through water with webbed feet and a beaver-like tail. Male platypi have venomous stingers on their back heels. Poison from these stingers can kill a dingo!
Cons: Species equipped with a duck bill instead of teeth, and a platypus hunts solely underwater (where it can hold its breath for a meager minute or two). It has only thrived on one continent (Australia, which is more like a big island). The platypus lays eggs, which seems like a questionable way to go about being a mammal. When the eggs hatch, the babies are blind, hairless, and ugly. The males are deadbeats when it comes to raising their young (reminding me unpleasantly of the MTV show "16 & Pregnant").

Nutria
Species: Myocastor coypus
Diet: Omnivore (plants, roots, snails, mussels)
Size: 15 to 22 lbs.
Lifespan: 8-10 years
Threats: coyotes, dogs, man (young are vulnerable to owls, hawks, eagles, foxes)
Pros: These semi-aquatic animals are excellent swimmers who can stay underwater for up to five minutes. When born, baby nutria are fully furred. Young nutria sometimes nurse as their mothers swim - talk about multi-tasking! Nutria are social animals and they live in groups called "colonies." They are native to South America, but have successfully adapted to life in Europe, Asia, Africa and North America (particularly Oregon and Washington state). Nutria are generally resented by other species in new habitats, because they overharvest edible plants and don't leave much vegetation. But can you really fault these creatures for being good at eating?
Cons: Nutria aren't good-looking (pictured above).

Remember, it's okay to change your mind. I thought platypi were pretty cute, but I now know that they don't have what it takes. Nutria are better web-footed, burrowing animals.
In a few days, I'll explain which team will take home the NCAA men's basketball title. After people have made their picks, of course...