2010 Kevin Pittsnogle All-American Names

By far, the best thing about attending a rollerderby event is watching the women on rollerskates shove each other to the ground. I won't go into the rules of rollerderby, except to say that points are rewarded to the speediest and strongest team. The crowd, for the most part, is not concerned with the score. Spectators are fixated on watching women push and jostle for position and occasionally throw their shoulders into each other. It's fun to watch people racing quickly around an oval, but it's more fun to watch people fall down.
The second best thing about Rat City Rollergirls, the Seattle women's rollerderby league, is the names of the competitors. Last night, when they introduced the women players before the bouts, it reminded me a lot of professional wrestling. While the women are certainly talented skaters and athletes, they definitely see their sport as entertainment.
On Saturday night, I was rooting for the team "Grave Danger," because my friend Charles knows a skater on the team. In addition, I appreciated their uniforms, which featured red tops (that simulate dripping blood) and either fishnet stockings or knee high socks. One thing all the members had in common was a bad-ass name that fits in with the team's "hellish" theme. My favorite monikers included: Bruise Lee, Carmen Getsome, Iron Megan, Katarina Whip, Sara Problem, and Nikole Plated.
I have to admit that these made-up nicknames make it more fun to cheer on the players. I would say the same thing about any sport. If someone has a cool name (like Coco Crisp, Chili Davis, Oil Can Boyd, or Mookie Blaylock), I like them immediately. College basketball is no different. I genuinely appreciate the creativeness of athletes' parents, unless it involves weird misspellings. Without further adieu, I present to you the best names of the year in men's college basketball:

First Team

Tweety Carter (Guard, Baylor)
Jimmer Fredette (Guard, BYU)
Festus Ezeli (Center, Vanderbilt)
Scootie Randall (Forward, Temple)
Tiny Gallon (Forward, Oklahoma)

Second Team

Korie Lucious (Guard, Michigan State)
Skylar McBee (Guard, Tennessee)
Wquinton Smith (Guard, Wisconsin)
Avery Jukes (Forward, Butler)
Bol Kong (Forward, Gonzaga)

Best player with most boring name: John Wall (Guard, Kentucky)