Advice For Lovers

I am feeling a tiny bit sick this evening. Too much fun on a Friday night right at the beginning of flu season will do that to you. I'm trying to stay hydrated and fed, but my mental energy is zapped. So for today's posting, I'm mailing it in. I'm going with some old material.

Below is a list I gave to my soon-to-be-married cousin for her bridal shower. In a few weeks, I will be joining her and my family in Italy for the marriage ceremony (the Camel leads a tough life, I know). These pieces of advice were not meant to enlighten her or impart wisdom. Asking me for relationship advice is like asking a kitten how to replace a timing belt.
I'm still not sure how this whole partnership thing works. For what it's worth, here are my helpful pointers:

1. Listen attentively to your spouse.
2. Take a lesson from our nation’s two-party system. Filibusters don’t get you anywhere. Compromises get you Medicare and national parks.
3. Take turns making meals.
4. Take cues from your spirit animal. If you’re a dolphin, swim around difficulty. If you’re a rabbit, hop over adversity. If you’re a large smelly walrus, you might want to rethink your choice of spirit animal.
5. Birthdays and anniversaries are obviously important dates to remember. But it’s fun to celebrate unexpectedly, too. So when you’ve prepared a fun evening for your partner and s/he asks you “What’s the occasion?” you just say, “Because this date marks the end of the Franco-Prussian War and because I love you” (nobody knows the exact date, not even Kaiser Wilhelm knew for sure).
6. Never use sports analogies when discussing your relationship, and don’t take steroids.
7. There are certain qualities about your mate that you will always admire and cherish. All other things are subject to change. Be understanding of these changes.
8. Notes, letters and cards are still nice to give and receive, even when you live together.
9. Shouldn’t have to tell you this, but travel every so often. Three-day weekends are rad.
10. A simple yet profound saying from “The Care Bears” cartoon: Sharing is caring.