Starting with the 2011 Player’s Club Invitational Defending Champion, here’s a rundown of the pool competition. The first round of introductions covers the Commish’s immediate and extended family. Look for Part 2 later this weekend...Tina (sister-in-law)
Name: Professor XHighest Finish: 1st (2011)
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: He can read people's minds and project thoughts into them, of anyone within range of 250 miles. Xavier can also suppress memories or cause amnesia in others, which sort of defeats the purpose of aging.
Rick (brother)
Name: HANCOCK
Highest Finish: 7th (2003, 2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Florida St.
Special power: I remember watching this movie with Spanish subtitles and no sound in Costa Rica. I should try watching it again. As an underachieving superhero with a bad attitude and a taste for liquor, his special power is destroying public property.
Jamie Difranco (nephew)
Name: The Human Torch
Highest Finish: My records appear to be incomplete in this regard. Sorry. Let's just say 15th...
2012 Champion Pick: Duke
Special power: Goes without saying, but this member of the Fantastic Four can cover his body in fire for up to 17 hours, soar through the air at supersonic speeds, and shoot flames at his enemies. Always wondered what would happen if him and Iceman fought - don't worry, it has been debated at length on comic chat forums.
Mom/Nancy
Name: Helen Parr aka Elastigirl
Highest Finish: 4th (2009)
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: This homemaker/superhero (above) can stretch parts of her body up to 100 feet. She is married to Mr. Incredible and is the very definition of a supermom. Still, my mom's better. Obviously. Have you ever tried her carrot cake?
Aunt Pat
Name: Nike
Highest Finish: 6th (2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: Superior flying and running skills (swoosh). Sometimes depicted driving the chariot of Zeus, Nike is the Greek goddess of victory. Best known for her headless statue in the Louvre in Paris (Winged Victory of Samothrace).
Dad/Jim
Name: Jimmy Neutron
Highest Finish: 2nd (2003, 2008)
2012 Champion Pick: Kansas
Special power: Possesses an IQ of 210 - ten more points than actually possible - so it's fair to say he's the smartest kid in the world. But would someone with this much brainpower really pick Kansas?
Sharon/Stepmom
Name: Dagda (Da Good One)
Highest Finish: Rookie
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: Unparalleled in power in the Celtic world - Dagda has a magic club that can kill nine men with one blow, a magical harp that puts the seasons in order, and a cauldron that supplies unlimited food. Throws some killer parties, too...because he rules over life and death.
Luke (stepbrother)
Name: Silver Surfer
Highest Finish: Rookie
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: He absorbs the universe's cosmic energy, which makes him strong and almost indestructible. On his board, the Silver Surfer is capable of flying through hyperspace at remarkable speeds. In the late 70s, he joined a prog-rock band with Hulk and Namor the Submariner called The Titans Three.
Peter (stepcousin)
Name: Peter Parker
Highest Finish: 1st (2006, 2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: Thanks to a radioactive spider, Peter is especially agile and can cling to walls, ceilings and buildings. After all these years, he's still trying to get his doctorate in biochemistry and his patent request for a web-shooting device keeps getting turned down.
Uncle Bill
Name: William the Conqueror
Highest Finish: 2nd (2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: As far as I know, William was a real person, and the first Norman King of England. In the tradition of Coneheads, upon invading the British Isles, he proclaimed, "We come from France!"
Paula (cousin)
Name: Freyja
Highest Finish: 3rd (2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: Wikipedia, the primary guide for all Norse and Germanic mythology, states that Freyja "rides on a chariot driven by two cats." Let's just stop right there. So she's one of those crazy people who puts a leash on her cat and tries to walk it down the street? That's just stupid. You can't train a cat.
Alison Heiser (cousin)
Name: Athena Goddess of Wisdom
Highest Finish: 2nd (2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Michigan St.
Special power: Athena, one of the three Virgin Goddesses of Olympus, gave the olive tree to Greece, providing people with shade, oil, and olives. And so they named the city of Athens after her. She was also a cunning war strategist and the patron saint of weaving, for those people who didn't like olives.
Michael Heiser (son of Athena)
Name: Robin
Highest Finish: 3rd (2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Michigan St.
Special power: The Boy Wonder had the privilege of learning from the best crime fighter of all time, the Dark Knight. Acrobatic, elusive and highly intelligent, he went on to become the superhero Nightwing. Then Batman adopted a series of other apprentices named Robin. The worst one, by far, was Chris O'Donnell.
Name: Jimmy Neutron
Highest Finish: 2nd (2003, 2008)
2012 Champion Pick: Kansas
Special power: Possesses an IQ of 210 - ten more points than actually possible - so it's fair to say he's the smartest kid in the world. But would someone with this much brainpower really pick Kansas?
Sharon/Stepmom
Name: Dagda (Da Good One)
Highest Finish: Rookie
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: Unparalleled in power in the Celtic world - Dagda has a magic club that can kill nine men with one blow, a magical harp that puts the seasons in order, and a cauldron that supplies unlimited food. Throws some killer parties, too...because he rules over life and death.
Luke (stepbrother)
Name: Silver Surfer
Highest Finish: Rookie
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: He absorbs the universe's cosmic energy, which makes him strong and almost indestructible. On his board, the Silver Surfer is capable of flying through hyperspace at remarkable speeds. In the late 70s, he joined a prog-rock band with Hulk and Namor the Submariner called The Titans Three.
Peter (stepcousin)
Name: Peter Parker
Highest Finish: 1st (2006, 2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: Thanks to a radioactive spider, Peter is especially agile and can cling to walls, ceilings and buildings. After all these years, he's still trying to get his doctorate in biochemistry and his patent request for a web-shooting device keeps getting turned down.
Uncle Bill
Name: William the Conqueror
Highest Finish: 2nd (2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Kentucky
Special power: As far as I know, William was a real person, and the first Norman King of England. In the tradition of Coneheads, upon invading the British Isles, he proclaimed, "We come from France!"
Paula (cousin)
Name: Freyja
Highest Finish: 3rd (2007)
2012 Champion Pick: Syracuse
Special power: Wikipedia, the primary guide for all Norse and Germanic mythology, states that Freyja "rides on a chariot driven by two cats." Let's just stop right there. So she's one of those crazy people who puts a leash on her cat and tries to walk it down the street? That's just stupid. You can't train a cat.
Alison Heiser (cousin)
Name: Athena Goddess of Wisdom
Highest Finish: 2nd (2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Michigan St.
Special power: Athena, one of the three Virgin Goddesses of Olympus, gave the olive tree to Greece, providing people with shade, oil, and olives. And so they named the city of Athens after her. She was also a cunning war strategist and the patron saint of weaving, for those people who didn't like olives.
Michael Heiser (son of Athena)
Name: Robin
Highest Finish: 3rd (2010)
2012 Champion Pick: Michigan St.
Special power: The Boy Wonder had the privilege of learning from the best crime fighter of all time, the Dark Knight. Acrobatic, elusive and highly intelligent, he went on to become the superhero Nightwing. Then Batman adopted a series of other apprentices named Robin. The worst one, by far, was Chris O'Donnell.
And I saved the best family member for last...
Missy
Name: Demeter
Highest Finish: 15th (2011)
2012 Champion: Michigan St.
Special power: This Greek Goddess taught people how to grow and prepare grain, and maintains the land's fertility. But I still sort of blame her for winter. Four months out of the year, she gets all depressed about her daughter Persephone (because she has to live in Hades), and won't let us humans harvest crops. Pretty melodramatic, if you ask me.
So Missy's family now...that means we really need to meet her in the flesh...
ReplyDeleteReally? You're calling me stupid? You know if it were up to me, my chariot would be pulled by two dachshunds which only makes sense being of German descent and all.
ReplyDeleteI guess that makes Wayne, Mr Incredible.
ReplyDeleteHey, Hancock comes around later into the movie. I did like the part early on where he sinks a sailboat though.
What do you expect? Demeter lives in Seattle - I suggest a little light therapy or a trip to SoCal!
I'd like to counter that Demeter also brings the Spring, with it - flowers. She basically walks on rose petals...come on Demeter! Where's the sun?!
ReplyDelete