Today's Libraries: Teaming Up With The Antichrist

While I was waiting for the No. 2 bus last week, a woman handed me a brochure titled "Mark of the Beast: RFID."
For those of you unfamiliar with this technology, RFID stands for Radio Frequency Identification. RFID chips are embedded in some electronic appliances, retail items, and yes, library books. These microchips are used for the purposes of identifying, monitoring and tracking inventory. At the Seattle Public Main Library, for example, there are sensors in the book drop that determine what book is being returned. After its identity is confirmed, the robotic book sorting system directs the item to a location for re-shelving or holds placement. The tag inside each book can also be used as a security device and set off a door alarm if it isn't checked out by a patron.
This system eliminates human sorting (which is costly) and gives robots (who don't take smoke breaks) much needed jobs. Yet the technology itself is costly - each chip costs at least 50 cents (for over 5 million items at SPL). That doesn't count the robotic conveyor belt system and maintenance.

But using public funds exorbiantly and giving jobs to robots are not concerns listed by the brochure. The author(s) is worried that RFID chips will soon be implanted on our bodies, and these "biochips" will be used to monitor our behavior and serve as a form of monetary exchange (remember that scene in "Minority Report" where Tom Cruise's eyes are scanned by The Gap? And the store knew his name?). The brochure states that "there will be privacy invasion and freedom will cease to exist." Furthermore, "anyone who refuses to accept this system will be tortured, then killed [not the other way around]."

And that's where Satan comes into the conversation. "A charismatic leader, who is the Anti-Christ, will rule the whole world through a system that is interconnected and interdependent." According to this logic, accepting a biochip is equated with receiving the mark of the beast, 666. This sin is unforgivable and cannot be reversed by physically removing the chip. Once the chip is implanted, you belong to Lucifer.

So, what does this mean for our nation's library systems? Well, since the Rapture and the Great Tribulation are inevitable (Revelation), I say we do whatever we can to track our items at all times. I suggest 24-hour surveillance from a central control center in which staff members make fun of patron's DVD choices ("'Paul Blart' and 'White Chicks'? You are a pathetic human being.")
Librarians, however, must never accept the mark of the beast. We've stood up against the Patriot Act. And we will not allow anything to be forced on us. Unless Nancy Pearl says it's good for us.