One of the biggest challenges of March Madness is not making bracket picks. That takes about five minutes. What's really difficult is determining a name that best represents your identity. In the past six years, I've appeared in the standings as Michael Knight, Scrappy-Doo, Jefferson Starship, Chili Cheese Fritos, The Secret of My Suce$s and Tyler Durden. Only when I embraced my inner David Hasselhoff was I truly successful.This year's theme for team names is: Mammals.
In order to qualify, the animal must have hair of some sort and milk its young. That's my informal definition. In brief, no birds, fish or reptiles (which means no dinosaurs - sorry, lovers of parasaurolophus).
Many college basketball teams have mammals as their mascots. Let's take a look at some of my favorites for inspiration:
1. Southern Illinois Salukis
2. UC-Irvine Anteaters
3. Sam Houston State Bearkats (not a real mammal)
4. Arkansas Razorbacks
5. Marshall Thundering Herd
6. South Dakota State Jackrabbits
7. Bowdoin Polar Bears
8. Maryland-Baltimore County Retrievers
9. Rider Broncs
10. Colby White Mules
Since I'm a fan of Oregon, I naturally favor waterfowl. But I didn't want to be boring and choose the Ducks. So I chose an animal that has a duck bill. My new team name is The Mighty Platypi.
The runner-ups included: The Otter Pops, The Sexy Manatees, and Grape Ape.
One more rule for pool participants: Don't choose the name of a current team.
ABSOLUTELY NO HUSKIES OR BEAVERS ALLOWED.
