Get Plastered At Home, Help Troops Abroad

I'm not too happy about having to pay $3.99 for a package of Swedish Fish at the Los Angeles International Airport.

But I'm more unhappy with a recent marketing effort by Jim Beam, Inc. As I was waiting for my United Airlines flight, I noticed a cardboard advertisement (outside the "L.A. Roadhouse" airport bar) urging me to make a "toast to the troops."
Below the Jim Beam logo and message was a large glass of fizzing cola...suggesting to travelers that by downing a "whiskey-and-coke," the most American of drinks, you are also helping the soldiers (who don't get to drink) establish the American ideals of democracy and freedom. The bourbon is not, for example, helping you deal with a traumatic divorce or forget about your mortgage payments. The bourbon is, however, bolstering the morale of our troops and providing them with what they need to keep fighting the good fight. But only if you buy the commemorative bottle with the star and stripes (pictured above).

I know, I know...leave it to me to burst the bubble of patriotic goodness. According to a press release, Jim Beam donated $175,000 this year to Operation Homefront - an organization that "provides emergency financial and morale assistance to troops, their families, and wounded warriors." Last year, the bourbon makers contributed $250,000, which included sales of the limited edition bottle. Moreover, the Jim Beam website states that "contribution to Operation Homefront is not based on the amount of product sold." So I guess I'm just a big Communist for complaining about this type of advertising.
But let's face it: If you get tipsy on Operation Homefront whiskey, you're supporting our men in camo. If you're throwing back a few of the regular Jim Beam label, you're just a drunk.

Whatever happened to rationing (circa World War II)?
Oh, that's right, we know longer understand the concept of saving or making personal sacrifices. So we'll just consume roughly the same amount of alcohol (and gasoline) as before, and hope the big scary war goes away...along with our other worries.

I'll have another, bartender.