Increasing My Blogging Productivity

Turns out that the blog honeymoon is over. I've really dropped off the blogging map in recent weeks. But I'm determined to contribute more of my limitless knowledge to the interwebs. The problem is consistency. It's difficult to make time or to find motivation for composition. Actually that's a pattern I've noticed in all areas of my life. But I digress - a blog isn't meant for self-psychoanalysis. A blog's purpose is to provide in-depth insights to matters that cannot be appropiately covered by mainstream periodicals or journalists. These areas of interest may include sandwiches, sports figures, underwater cities, my neighor's horrible musical tastes (sounds like Hillary Duff mixed with the sound of water running and a cat using a litter box - turns out my neighbor does indeed use a sink and has a cat, but looks nothing like Hillary Duff), and methods of ketchup stain removal (not excluding fire).
In order to increase my production of original, mind-expanding content, I've made a list of lifestyle changes that will encourage me to write more often:

- Stop working so much (some weeks I work as much as 32 hours, leaving me little opportunity to stop and smell the roses and then report back on these dangerous odors)
- Stop exercising (more explicitly, I should never leave my computer chair)
- Drink a little more often (all great writers were alcoholics, thus the origin of the term "typing buzz"; the "writer's high" is attributed to use of other substances, but I'm going to stick with booze)
- Limit myself to one viewing of "Dragon Wars" per day
- Stop paying attention to the NBA (I've already given up watching professional basketball, but I haven't totally halted my rigorous study of player's tattoos, like those of Denver Nugget Chris Andersen, who has a map of dry land inked on his back like that little girl from "Waterworld")
- More consumption of 5-hour Energy drink (as promoted by NFL stars Braylon Edwards and Osi Umenyiora and NASCAR pro Rusty Wallace - if they can use it to stay awake, why can't I?)
- Limit my reading to Facebook profile updates (novels are time-consuming and made up, whereas what's going on with my FB "friends" is exciting, real and provocative)
- Put myself in exotic locales where I can make astute observations on people and culture (like an embedded reporter, except that I'll be in an ethnic restaurant instead of a war-torn country)
- Stay informed on current events with Fox News (while still being patriotic), so that my blog posts are relevant and educated
- Periodically just post a combination of Twitter messages, rather than think up something

(Note: If you look closely enough, you can see my blog in the top right corner of the blogosphere image)