Inside the Actor's Studio: 2013 Madness Awards!

Now that baseball season has started and the trophy has been handed to Colin, let's take a look at individual performances. Not all of us were worthy of taking home a statue. In fact, some of you looked like you were phoning it in for an infomercial gig or a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. See below for your actor and actress ranks. Were you like Lea Thompson in "Back to the Future" or like Lea Thompson in "Caroline in the City?"

Starting with yours truly...


Commish
Finish : 3
Points : 107
Percentile : 89.66
Nickname : Tony Danza
2013 Actor Rank : Tom Hanks
Similar to Performance in : "Turner and Hooch"

Brock
Finish : 17
Points : 68
Percentile : 41.38
Nickname : Steve Buscemi
2013 Actor Rank : Leslie Nielsen
Similar to Performance in : "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"

Tom
Finish : 11
Points : 84
Percentile : 62.07
Nickname : Sam Shepard
2013 Actor Rank : Sam Elliott
Similar to Performance in : "The Big Lebowski"

Rick (brother)
Finish : 22
Points : 56
Percentile : 24.14
Nickname : Burt Reynolds
2013 Actor Rank : Macaulay Culkin
Similar to Performance in : "The Good Son"
:
Nancy (Mom)
Finish : 21
Points : 58
Percentile : 27.59
Nickname : Melissa McBride
2013 Actor Rank : Rebecca Romijn
Similar to Performance in : "X-Men: The Last Stand"

Tina (sister-in-law)
Finish : 3
Points : 107
Percentile : 89.66
Nickname : Betty White
2013 Actor Rank : Ava Gardner
Similar to Performance in : "The Night of the Iguana"

Jim (Dad)
Finish : 25
Points : 54
Percentile : 13.79
Nickname : Sean Penn
2013 Actor Rank : Tom Arnold
Similar to Performance in : "Soul Plane"

Peter L.
Finish : 2
Points : 108
Percentile : 93.10
Nickname : Kevin Bacon
2013 Actor Rank : Anthony Hopkins
Similar to Performance in :  "The Remains of the Day"

Aunt Pat
Finish : 19
Points : 63
Percentile : 34.48
Nickname : Vivien Leigh
2013 Actor Rank : Sean Young
Similar to Performance in : "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"

Charles
Finish : 24
Points : 55
Percentile : 17.24
Nickname : John Wilkes Booth
2013 Actor Rank : Matthew Lilliard
Similar to Performance in : "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed"

Michael B.
Finish : 28
Points : 48
Percentile : 3.45
Nickname : Bela Lugosi
2013 Actor Rank : Pauly Shore
Similar to Performance in : "In The Army Now"

Brian
Finish : 13
Points : 75
Percentile : 55.17
Nickname : Your Friend, Billy Zane
2013 Actor Rank : Ben Affleck
Similar to Performance in : "The Sum of All Fears"

Michael Heiser
Finish : 17
Points : 68
Percentile : 41.38
Nickname : Michael Heiser
2013 Actor Rank : Leslie Nielsen
Similar to Performance in : "Mr. Magoo"

Alison Heiser
Finish : 25
Points : 54
Percentile : 13.79
Nickname : Katharine Hepburn
2013 Actor Rank : Kate Bosworth
Similar to Performance in : "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!"

Robert
Finish : 15
Points : 71
Percentile : 48.28
Nickname : Dwayne The Rock Johnson
2013 Actor Rank : Topher Grace
Similar to Performance in : "Mona Lisa Smile"

Bill Bowman
Finish : 7
Points : 95
Percentile : 75.86
Nickname : Curly Howard (Three Stooges)
2013 Actor Rank : Sean Penn
Similar to Performance in : "Carlito's Way"

Kim
Finish : 25
Points : 54
Percentile : 13.79
Nickname : James Dean
2013 Actor Rank : Tom Arnold
Similar to Performance in : "Cradle 2 the Grave" (starring Jet Li and DMX)

Uncle Bill
Finish : 8
Points : 94
Percentile : 72.41
Nickname : William Holden
2013 Actor Rank : Peter Sarsgaard
Similar to Performance in : "An Education"

Missy
Finish : 29
Points : 31
Percentile : 0.00
Nickname : Meryl Streep
2013 Actor Rank : Paris Hilton
Similar to Performance in : "House of Wax"

Colin
Finish : 1
Points : 111
Percentile : 96.55
Nickname : Mel Blanc
2013 Actor Rank : Jack Nicholson
Similar to Performance in : "The Shining"

Bruce
Finish : 9
Points : 91
Percentile : 68.97
Nickname : Bob Hope
2013 Actor Rank : Bruce Willis
Similar to Performance in : "The Fifth Element"

Greg
Finish : 10
Points : 89
Percentile : 65.52
Nickname : The Fightin' Bob Rosses
2013 Actor Rank : Jake Gyllenhaal
Similar to Performance in : "October Sky"

Tim D.
Finish : 12
Points : 82
Percentile : 58.62
Nickname : Bubba Gump
2013 Actor Rank : Alan Alda
Similar to Performance in : "Manhattan Murder Mystery"

Vinay
Finish : 20
Points : 59
Percentile : 31.03
Nickname : Vin Diesel
2013 Actor Rank : Robert Pattinson
Similar to Performance in : "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"

Erica
Finish : 22
Points : 56
Percentile : 24.14
Nickname : Julia Roberts
2013 Actor Rank : Katherine Heigl
Similar to Performance in : "27 Dresses"

Layli
Finish : 6
Points : 101
Percentile : 79.31
Nickname : Dame Judi Dench
2013 Actor Rank : Natalie Portman
Similar to Performance in : "V for Vendetta"

Bill Rochfort
Finish : 5
Points : 103
Percentile : 82.76
Nickname : Bill Rochfort
2013 Actor Rank : James Stewart
Similar to Performance in : "Rear Window"

Aunt Marilyn
Finish : 13
Points : 75
Percentile : 55.17
Nickname : Kim Novak
2013 Actor Rank : Maria Bello
Similar to Performance in : "Coyote Ugly"

Ryan Talbot
Finish : 16
Points : 69
Percentile : 44.83
Nickname : Pauly Shore
2013 Actor Rank : Chris Pine
Similar to Performance in : "Star Trek"

Have a good rest of the year, y'all!

Blockbusters and Box Office Duds

Welcome back for the second round of introductions, March Madness players! 

At this point, your bracket picks might not look too promising. If that's not the case, give it a couple days. 

Either way, here's a chance beef up on your movie knowledge and get to know your competition before the second week of games start. I was forced to get creative with players who did not change their names for this year's pool. Apparently, Bill and Michael can't pretend to be someone they're not and they both believe in personal integrity. They're never going to make it in Hollywood.

Michael B.

Name: Bela Lugosi

Best Known For His Role in: “Dracula” (1931)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Zombies on Broadway” (1945)

Aunt Marilyn

Name: Kim Novak

Best Known For Her Role in: “Vertigo” (1958)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Just A Gigolo” (1978)

Aunt Pat

Name: Vivien Leigh

Best Known For Her Role in: “Gone With The Wind” (1939)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Dark Journey” (1937)

Alison (cousin)

Name: Katharine Hepburn

Best Known For Her Role in: “Bringing Up Baby” (1938)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “The Iron Petticoat” (1956, with Bob Hope)

Vinay (old tennis doubles partner)

Name: Vin Diesel

Best Known For His Role in: “xXx” (2002)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “The Pacifier” (2005)

Bill Rochfort

Name: Bill Rochfort

Best Known For His Role in: Global Payout, Inc. http://globalpayout.info/files/BillRochfortBio_2010.pdf

Most Questionable Acting Decision: Nothing that I can find, but he’s also a talented artist: http://www.willrochfort.com/thumbnails/

Robert

Name: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Best Known For His Role in: “Wrestlemania XX” (2004)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Wrestlemania XXVII” (2011)

Colin

Name: Mel Blanc

Best Known For His Role in: “The Flintstones” (Barney Rubble) and “The Bugs Bunny Show”

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “The Peter Potamus Show” (Sneezly Seal)

Layli (Brian's GF)

Name: Dame Judi Dench

Best Known For Her Role in: “Chocolat” (2000) or “Casino Royale” (2006) - based on your gender

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Chronicles of Riddick” (2004)

Michael Heiser (Alison’s son)

Name: Michael Heiser

Best Known For His Role in: “Ancient Aliens Debunked” 

http://ancientaliensdebunked.com/mike-heiser/

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Zecharia Sitchin is a FRAUD!” http://extraterrestrials.me/michael-s-heiser-ph-d-zecharia-sitchin-is-a-fraud/

Bruce

Name: Bob Hope

Best Known For His Role in: hosting the Academy Awards 14 times

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Call Me Bwana” (1963) - I’m guessing it contains politically correct depictions of African tribesmen

And finally, here are four out of our past five pool champions (Sue Bowman is on a yearly sabbatical):

Bill Bowman

Name: Curly Howard (of the Three Stooges)

Best Known For His Role in: “Disorder in the Court” (1936)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Hold That Lion!” (1947)

Kim

Name: James Dean

Best Known For His Role in: “Rebel Without A Cause” (1955)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Has Anybody Seen My Gal” (1952)

Tina (sister-in-law)

Name: Betty White

Best Known For Her Role in: “Golden Girls” (1985-1992)

Most Questionable Acting Decision: “Hard Rain” (1998) - a movie where it rains really hard, starring Christian Slater

Charles

Name: John Wilkes Booth

Best Known For His Role in: “The Apostate” as the villain Duke Pescara

Most Questionable Acting Decision: Conspiring with the Confederate Secret Service

Hope this has been informative and entertaining, like the local news. Maybe slightly less depressing.

Have fun watching hoops!

A Few Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Time to mingle with the stars, and see who's who on the red carpet. Here are the players in the 2013 March Madness pool - friends, relatives, and confidants alike.
As you can see, I have assigned a Bacon Number and Zane Number to each actor and actress.
A Bacon Number represents the degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. Number 1 means the actor appeared in the same movie as Bacon, Number 2 means the actor appeared in a movie with another actor who appeared in a different movie with Bacon, and so on...
The Zane Number is the same principle, but applies to the wonderful and mysterious Billy Zane.
(Thanks to the Oracle of Bacon website for connecting the dots for me!)

Peter L. (stepcousin)
Name: Kevin Bacon
Bacon Number: 0
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "In The Cut" and "Zoolander"

Erica (co-worker)
Name: Julia Roberts
Bacon Number: 1
*Connected through "Flatliners"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "My Best Friend's Wedding" and "Critters"

Rick (brother)
Name: Burt Reynolds
Bacon Number: 1
*Connected through "Starting Over"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Nickelodeon" and "Critters"

Missy
Name: Meryl Streep
Bacon Number: 1
*Connected through "The River Wild"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Silkwood" and "Critters"

Jim (Dad)
Name: Sean Penn
Bacon Number: 1
*Connected through "Mystic River"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "At Close Range" and "Back to the Future"

Ryan Talbot
Name: Pauly Shore
Bacon Number: 1
*Connected through "Skum Rocks!" (2013) - a little misleading because this movie hasn't come out yet
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "For Keeps?" and "Critters"

Brian
Name: Your Friend, Billy Zane
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "Zoolander" and "In The Cut"
Zane Number: 0

Uncle Bill
Name: William Holden
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "The Towering Inferno" and "Wild Things"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "The Devil's Brigade" and "Back to the Future"

Commish
Name: Tony Danza
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "Crash" and "Loverboy"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Angels in the Outfield" and "Back to the Future"

Greg
Name: The Fightin' Bob Rosses
Bacon Number: Infinity
Zane Number: Infinity

Brock
Name: Steve Buscemi
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "Handsome Harry" and "Cavedweller"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Youth in Revolt" and "Critters"

Tim D.
Name: Bubba Gump (Mykelti Williamson)
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "Heat" and "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home" and "Critters"

Tom
Name: Sam Shepard
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "Curtain Call" and "Mystic River"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Black Hawk Down" and "The Ghost of Goodnight Lane"

Nancy (Mom)
Name: Melissa McBride
Bacon Number: 2
*Connected through "The Mist" and "Mystic River"
Zane Number: 2
*Connected through "Delgo" and "The Employer"

Stay tuned for more player introductions...and awards!

Who Is Sydney Pollack?

Welcome March Madness participants (and random surfers of the inter-webs)!
It's my first blog post of the spring, and I can promise you I've been studying up for the coming tournament...

Not by looking at college basketball stats, though. I've been busy creating statistics of my own, and I've focused my attention on the competition - YOU!
After 12 years of running the Player's Club Invitational, the Commish has collected quite a few numbers on player performance (except for 2002 and 2003). Now it's time to break them down, and see who's been maximizing their bracket potential on a consistent basis. (Hint: It's not Robert)

A quick discussion of my methodology:
For each player, I tabulated results on (a) annual finish i.e. 1st, 2nd, 3rd place, (b) annual total points, and (c) annual percentile rank (because the amount of participants changes each year). I averaged all of these numbers over the last 9 years. In order to make these numbers easy to understand, I assigned players an actor or actress name. The average percentile rank corresponds with a thespian in the 2013 Commishtical Index of Acting (CIA). The CIA rankings were partly determined by data from the AMC Movie Database, Box Office Mojo, and the Golden Raspberry Awards and partly determined by my personal judgment.
As an example, if you usually finish in the 92nd percentile, you're on par with Paul Newman or Grace Kelly. However, if you usually place in the 3rd percentile, you're a regular Pauly Shore or Elizabeth Berkley, making bad choices year after year (or you're no longer getting work).
In addition, I provided the last good movie of each actor/actress (6.8 rating or better of a film (not animated or TV movie) on IMDB).

(By the way, I currently only have results for people who played in last year's pool.
The Commishtical Index of Acting 2013 is available upon request.)

Look below to see if you're an Oscar contender, or if you're getting ripped by Rotten Tomatoes.
Let's start with the five rookies from last year:


Sharon (stepmom)
2012 Finish : 2
2012 Points : 137
2012 Percentile : 93
Actor/Actress Rank : Elizabeth Taylor
Last Good Movie : Reflections In a Golden Eye (1967)

Brett
2012 Finish : 14
2012 Points : 80
2012 Percentile : 53
Actor/Actress Rank : Jesse Eisenberg
Last Good Movie : The Social Network (2010)


Colin
2012 Finish : 23
2012 Points : 59
2012 Percentile : 23
Actor/Actress Rank : Sylvester Stallone
Last Good Movie : Rocky Balboa (2006)


Greg
2012 Finish : 4
2012 Points : 109
2012 Percentile : 87
Actor/Actress Rank : Humphrey Bogart
Last Good Movie : The Harder They Fall (1956)

Tim D.
2012 Finish : 5
2012 Points : 109
2012 Percentile : 83
Actor/Actress Rank : James Stewart
Last Good Movie : The Shootist (1976)

As you can tell, some of our rookies are quite talented, but they need to keep honing their craft if they want to be relevant a few years from now.  Here's a look at the pool veterans, starting with yours truly.  For the record, I think Casey Affleck is a better actor than Ben Affleck:


The Commish
Average Finish : 12
Average Points : 87
Average Percentile : 55
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Ben Affleck
Last Good Movie : Argo (2012)

Brock
Average Finish : 14
Average Points : 82
Average Percentile : 48
Experience : 8 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Topher Grace
Last Good Movie : Traffic (2000)

Bill Butler
Average Finish : 5
Average Points : 100
Average Percentile : 82
Experience : 4 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Christoph Waltz
Last Good Movie : Django Unchained (2012)

Tom
Average Finish : 11
Average Points : 85
Average Percentile : 59
Experience : 8 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Frank Langella
Last Good Movie : Robot and Frank (2012)

Rick (brother)
Average Finish : 13
Average Points : 77
Average Percentile : 49
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Luke Wilson
Last Good Movie : 3:10 to Yuma (2007)

Nancy (Mom)
Average Finish : 15
Average Points : 76
Average Percentile : 38
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Chloe Moretz
Last Good Movie : Hugo (2011)

Tina (sister-in-law)
Average Finish : 9
Average Points : 91
Average Percentile : 64
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Anne Bancroft
Last Good Movie : Torch Song Trilogy (1988)






Jim (Dad)
Average Finish : 9
Average Points : 90
Average Percentile : 64
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Casey Affleck
Last Good Movie : Gone Baby Gone (2007)

Peter L.
Average Finish : 9
Average Points : 87
Average Percentile : 65
Experience : 7 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Jake Gyllenhaal
Last Good Movie End of Watch (2012)

Aunt Pat
Average Finish : 14
Average Points : 73
Average Percentile : 47
Experience : 7 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Kristen Bell
Last Good Movie : Stuck in Love (2012)

Charles (The Chuckman)
Average Finish : 13
Average Points : 80
Average Percentile : 47
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Eddie Murphy
Last Good Movie : Coming to America (1988)

Paula (cousin)
Average Finish : 14
Average Points : 81
Average Percentile : 48
Experience : 8 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Sarah Michelle Gellar
Last Good Movie : The Air I Breathe (2007)

Michael B.
Average Finish : 17
Average Points : 65
Average Percentile : 35
Experience : 7 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Chris Hemsworth
Last Good Movie : The Avengers (2012)

Brian (Showcase)
Average Finish : 12
Average Points : 81
Average Percentile : 53
Experience : 8 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Jesse Eisenberg
Last Good Movie : The Social Network (2010)

Michael H. (son of Alison)
Average Finish : 14
Average Points : 78
Average Percentile : 46
Experience : 8 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Rob Lowe
Last Good Movie : Thank You For Smoking (2005)

Alison (cousin)
Average Finish : 17
Average Points : 71
Average Percentile : 35
Experience : 9 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Michelle Monaghan
Last Good Movie : Machine Gun Preacher (2011)

Robert
Average Finish : 20
Average Points : 65
Average Percentile : 24
Experience : 7 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Macaulay Culkin
Last Good Movie : Saved! (2004)

Bill Bowman
Average Finish : 14
Average Points : 81
Average Percentile : 43
Experience : 5 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Sydney Pollack
Last Good Movie : Michael Clayton (2007)

Sue Bowman
Average Finish : 12
Average Points : 81
Average Percentile : 54
Experience : 5 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Katie Holmes
Last Good Movie : Thank You For Smoking (2005)

Kim
Average Finish : 13
Average Points : 79
Average Percentile : 52
Experience : 5 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Ethan Hawke
Last Good Movie : Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)


Uncle Bill
Average Finish : 10
Average Points : 92
Average Percentile : 61
Experience : 6 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Timothy Olyphant
Last Good Movie : Live Free or Die Hard (2007)


Jamie DiFranco
Average Finish : 24
Average Points : 57
Average Percentile : 14
Experience : 3 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Tom Arnold
Last Good Movie : Gardens of the Night (2008)

Bruce
Average Finish : 18
Average Points : 58
Average Percentile : 31
Experience : 3 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Robert Pattinson
Last Good Movie : Water for Elephants (2011)


And the best for last...

Missy
Average Finish : 17
Average Points : 59
Average Percentile : 37
Experience : 2 years
Actor/Actress Rank : Zhang Ziyi
Last Good Movie : Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)



To answer my original question, Sydney Pollack is an actor from such films as "Eyes Wide Shut" and " Tootsie" AND an Oscar-winning director ("Out of Africa").
He is pictured above with Meryl Streep. She's been in a few good movies, but I can't think of one off the top of my head...